To receive daily emails from Breaking Christian News to your inbox CLICK HERE


SHARE THIS ARTICLE Printer friendly version of this page

'I Literally Wanted to Die': Porn Star Wanted to Escape the Industry; How a Simple Act Broke Down His Walls and Made a Way

Billy Hallowell : Jun 1, 2021  Let's Talk Purity

"...I wasn't interacting with one person who was calling me by my real name ... When that bank teller said my name it shattered what was my reality and it just freaked me out..." -Joshua Broome

Joshua Broome wanted to die. After achieving fame in the porn industry, he spiraled down into a pit of confusion, was at the end of himself—and believed he had no viable path forward. (Image: Joshua Broome and family /via Billy Hallowell-Edifi)

For Broome, seeing beyond the fog of the present felt impossible. After years of buried emotions, the former adult film star could no longer compress his angst and fear.

SUBSCRIBE: LISTEN TO 'LET'S TALK PURITY' ON THE EDIFI PODCAST NETWORK

"The last scene that I did, I'm laying in bed," Broome recently told the "Let's Talk Purity" podcast. "And I'm thinking, 'I want to die. I don't have the guts to kill myself, but like how would I do it ... I just don't want to live anymore. There's no future, there's no one who's going to marry me, there's no employer who's going to hire me ... I'm absolutely useless.'"

But rather than give up, Broome mustered the courage to leave the industry and rebuild his life and is now a husband, father and pastor, boldly defying the lies he told himself in the midst of his despair.

Broome recently told "Let's Talk Purity" hosts Richard and Brittni De La Mora about his journey into—and out of—porn, explaining that he entered the industry like many others do: through a chance encounter and haphazard steps and then found himself trapped in a diabolical cycle.

Listen to his absolutely incredible story, Click Here

Broome started modeling when he was a teenager and set his sights on making it big in a city like Los Angeles or New York. He headed off to California, but was diverted into porn after he met someone who connected him to the industry.

DISCOVER: LISTEN TO THE BEST CHRISTIAN PODCASTS ON EDIFI

At first, he was skeptical, but for some reason agreed to perform in his first adult film.

"It's just so bizarre. Looking back at who I am and how my mom raised me, I don't know how I got to the point of how I would say 'yes' to that," Broome said. "Everyone is vulnerable in a moment. I was at a peak of insecurity and I saw an opportunity and someone spoke to my weakness and I was like, 'Sure I'll do this one.'"

After it was done, he thought to himself, "What did I just do?" But for some reason, Broome continued to perform in various types of pornography over the next few years.

"I don't know where four years went," he said.

There were signs throughout Broome's career that exposed his internal battle over what he was doing, as he would often return home after a shoot and shower, describing how "disgusting" he felt, but how he was unable to wash those emotions all away.

Broome concealed his pain from those around him and retreated from his family and friends, no longer taking calls from his own mother.

"I had to put on a facade because I was hurting so bad," Broome said. "I literally wanted to die. ... I'm doing everything I can to mask how bad I'm hurting."

READ ALSO: CHRISTIAN PODCASTS YOU'LL LOVE: THE WORLD'S BEST FAITH APP

As his pain progressed, so did his career. Broome said he was eventually working 20-25 times each month.

"That was 20, 25 times that I went home and sat in the shower and just prayed to the God [who] I didn't know that I would just stop breathing," he said. "It was never an intimate act. It was a business transaction that I needed to use drugs to be able to do."

Broome found himself wondering why he was so empty if he had everything he thought he always wanted. One day, though, a chance encounter with a bank teller changed everything.

"I went inside [the bank] and I handed the check to the person and they deposited it," he recalled. "And as I was leaving ... they said, 'Joshua, is there anything I can do for you? ... Joshua, can I help you?'"

It was a moment that stunned Broome, as it had been a long time since someone called him by his real name. His entire life had been enveloped by his career and his toxic identity was intrinsically tied to his stage name.

"I get chills, because I had gotten to the point where ... I wasn't interacting with one person who was calling me by my real name," he said. "I did not hear my name. When that bank teller said my name it shattered what was my reality and it just freaked me out."

Broome bolted across the street to his apartment and took a long look in the mirror.

"I just lost it ... I didn't see that actor anymore," he said. "I saw Joshua Broome."

He was suddenly overtaken by emotion, realizing all of the ways he had abandoned his family and loved ones. And, in that moment, he decided to leave it all behind.

"After I wept and wept and wept, I picked up the phone and called everyone I needed to call and said, 'I'm out,'" he said. "Within days, I was gone."

For the next two years, Broome tried to rebuild a life for himself. He began working at a gym and initially lied to everyone he met about his past. Eventually, he met a girl at the gym who asked him two questions, "Do you know who God is?" and "Do you have a relationship with Him?"

Broome started attending church with her, the two later became engaged and they married. Now, they're loving parents and Broome—who once wanted to die—is fully alive, preaching and sharing the faith that helped transform his life.

"Jesus did die for me," he said. "He came to make me alive." Subscribe for free to Breaking Christian News here

Click Here to listen to other episodes of "Let's Talk Purity."







SHARE THIS ARTICLE Printer friendly version of this page

To receive daily emails from Breaking Christian News to your inbox CLICK HERE

Other Recent Articles from Breaking Christian News

250 Reasons Why We Love America

Stories of Heroism and Miracles from the Devastation in Venezuela, Shared on Social Media

Enemies Within: The Threat of Communism to America

Man Taken into Custody in Somalia for Role in Huge MN Fraud Scheme

Supreme Court Decision Sparks Urgent Calls to Pass SAVE America Act

Supreme Court Upholds Birthright Citizenship in Blow to Trump Immigration Enforcement

Supreme Court Rules on State Laws Excluding Men From Women's Sports

America 250: Freedom Trucks Travel across US Celebrating American History

Lowest Gas Prices Are in States with Republican Governors, Legislatures: Report

MLB's Texas Rangers Shun 'Pride Night,' Host 'Faith and Family Night' Instead

Resolution to Preserve Daughters of the American Revolution for Women Only Is Defeated

Texas Institutes Bible Passages into Its Public School Reading List

US, Iran Skirmish Following Tehran's Ceasefire Violations; Israel, Lebanon Sign 'Historic Accomplishment'

Supreme Court Deals Massive Blow to the Deep State, Reversing 90-Year Precedent in Humphrey's Executor

Justice Alito Torches SCOTUS Ruling in Mail-in Ballot Case, Warns of Voter Fraud

SCOTUS Rules 5-4 to Permit Counting of Mail-In Ballots that Arrive AFTER Election Day

Breitbart's AMERICAN SOUNDTRACK: Firebrand Mary Kutter's Poignant Birthday Tribute; 'Through All the Hell and Glory Days You Stand Here With Amazing Grace'

America's Semiquincentennial Begins: Trump Launches Massive National Mall Expo

Woman Removed from Detroit Tigers Game for Wearing 'Jesus Over Pride' Shirt

Netherlands Does the Unthinkable: Euthanize a Young Child



Search the Articles Archives

Keyword:  
Author:  
Words Posted On:  
Day Month Year



Subscribe to
Breaking Christian News


Follow BCN on Twitter
Are You Praying for Our Government Leaders?
BCN Staff

Steve Shultz
Steve Shultz, Managing Editor
Founder and Owner


Aimee Herd
Aimee Herd, Editor


BCN Plus
Are You Praying for President Trump?
 
 

All articles on this site and emails from BCN are copyrighted property of Breaking Christian News. Permission is given to link to, or share a BCN story if proper attribution is given to both the original writer and summarizer of the story. Breaking Christian News 2005-2019. All Rights Reserved.


Breaking Christian News is a division of Elijah List Publications, Inc. All Rights Reserved


Disclaimer: Articles and links, as well as the source articles linked to; do not necessarily reflect the opinion of Breaking Christian News.

editor@breakingchristiannews.com